We live in a society where “It’s Not OK” campaigns seem to be targeting men; however, from my experience, women are the worst, or should I say the best, at covering up abuse and violence. Through my divorce, when I needed the support of women, they stunned me with responses such as: (1) Suck it up – what happened to you happened to thousands of others – you are not the first and only; (2) I get that you walked out with nothing, but, you should have known, that’s what happen when you divorce your husband; (3) Well, you sacrificed your career for your children, which is good, so then don’t complain about having exclusive responsibility for them; (4) This is the cost of Motherhood (or Womanhood); just accept it; or (5) Let’s face it: You are the one who put financial constraint of your family by not ‘working’. The father of my children has once again not contributed a single cent to replace the children’s car, which I bought years ago, after it was recently stolen and written off. When the news broke, he straightaway went to photograph the car plus he went with them to test-drive cars; when it came to checking a particular car, negotiating the deal and paying for it, he disappeared off the radar. This left me with having to carry the cost of protecting my children from the self-righteous neglect of their father on the one hand and the inherited care of their 'stepfather' on the other hand. Similarly, when the girls were learning to drive and getting their drivers licences, their father did not lift a finger to help – I was left with having to make it happen, together with their 'stepfather', not only costing me money but time and stress too. This is why I will keep writing about these things, until Somewhere Someday Someone may be prepared to stand up and say: ‘Enough is enough’. The father of my children and I came to this country, both as professionals, but one of us had to be the wife and mother; it ended up being me, and I will not let my daughters grow old with the belief: Mom, just suck it up! An employment driven education raises people to believe that a ‘non-working’ Mother and her daughters do not deserve a decent car or can walk and bus where they need to be. Paving the way for an entrepreneurial education system, I hope to set the record straight.
|Susanna Susara Kruger||
Author, Speaker, Educator & Entrepreneur