Passion, for me, is to display an unwavering confidence, a centredness – the opposite of fear – which is seen by conformists as delusion. I have come to a point in my journey where I feel sorry for those who claim that I am insane because I have learned that a pioneer will not be understood by those who are unable to think outside the square or allow for things to evolve. My former husband, with the support of the church, tried to certify me insane for wishing him dead and thinking that I could lead an educational movement, as I called it at the time. When their plot behind my back failed, he downloaded diagnoses from the internet and sent it to my relatives and, via acquaintances, to my manager as ‘evidence’ of my insanity, costing me the support of my family and a potential teaching job, because we still live in a society where discrimination against people with mental illness is more real than the next door neighbour. Even at Unitec NZ, obtaining an A for my first assignment on the theory of my learning centre that I was going to establish one day, I only obtained a B for the second assignment on the practice of my future learning centre with a note that what I recommended was not really possible. I have learned not to validate people’s claims as those are distractions, draining the energy needed to achieve what is written on my heart and mind. So much of what is happening in our world sounds so right, but to me, feels so wrong. I have learned to discern what is meant for me, to proceed on my journey of leaving a ‘living legacy’ behind. Isn’t it true that many gurus of the past, honoured today, were labelled as insane during their lifetime? In my case, only time will tell!
|Susanna Susara Kruger||
Author, Speaker, Educator & Entrepreneur