I have overcome various difficulties in my life, but, my single greatest challenge remains: being someone’s wife. After divorcing the father of my children, four years ago I married my soul mate: the man who does not need much explaining of life. One would think that there is nothing better to wish for in a relationship; however, we live indeed in a white male privilege society. I believe that most marriages are destroyed, not because people stop loving each other; but, because they are unable to resolve conflict. I must confess that I am a woman who puts my children and grandchild before my husband, and, I happen to live an unstoppable purpose; both, enormous threats to any man. I do not have a wife to support me and my purpose; I am a wife who supports my man and his purpose. The quest for me has always been: how can I manifest my dreams from having to take a second place? How, even equality, does not work for me as I am half my husband’s size, an immigrant with a heavy accent, and carrying Susanna Susara Kruger for a name. If perhaps I was male, New Zealand born and called John Barrows; I may have stood a better chance at resolving conflict with my wife. I have learned that conflict resolution needs to be achieved firstly within myself; in my opinion, I am good at doing this [hence my blogging to heal myself]. Nevertheless, I find moving on to resolve the particular conflict with my husband too, is hardly possible. We are both Tigers (Chinese Zodiac), both Gemini (Star Sign) and both Entrepreneurs (working primarily from home). Unfortunately I cannot change the latter, as without being able to get a job in this country, my workplace is our home. I look forward though to creating my own domain in our home as a way of removing myself from unnecessary conflict. There is nothing I want more out of life than being able to grow old with my loving husband, my soul mate.
I am surrounded by about 50 strong women - Mothers - from African, Indian, Asian, Māori, European and Other descent. Investing in Mothers is investing in families; this is why I keep spending more and more energy on building these relationships. My entrepreneur school and politics are all about putting the power back in the hands of the family; and, who can do it better than the Mother? As a grandmother and mother (and a daughter, sister, aunt, wife) I hope to turn these roles into equity; challenging society to put their money where their mouths are. I honour the achievements of equality fought for by others before me in the areas of women’s health, education and work. However, my aim is to get Mothers recognised, in a monetary manner, purely for being mothers – real leaders. In 2010, I wrote an NZQA Level 9 academic paper titled, Motherhood: from painful privilege to paid position. I now look forward to seeing how this may manifest in the near future.
|Susanna Susara Kruger||
Author, Speaker, Educator & Entrepreneur